If you knew that no matter how hard you tried, success was impossible or practically impossible, would you still push yourself to the limit? Or would you rationally pivot to another endeavor with a real chance of success? Personally, if the odds were overwhelmingly against me, I’m not sure I’d bother pushing so hard.
Since my kids were born, I’ve noticed a growing trend: highly academic Asian American students with stellar GPAs and top SAT scores getting rejected from most of their top-choice colleges. This is common for many students, especially as admissions rates plummet due in part to the ease of applying through the Common App. However, the challenge seems even more pronounced for Asian applicants.
Although Asian Americans make up only about 7% of the U.S. population, they aren’t considered a minority group eligible for preferential treatment in college admissions, jobs, or promotions. Instead, based on average SAT and ACT scores by race, it appears they must score higher than other groups just to have an equal chance of acceptance. The Supreme Court acknowledged this disparity when it ruled against affirmative action on June 29, 2023.
When diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) became a dominant movement after George Floyd’s killing in 2020, Asian Americans were largely left out of the racial justice conversation—even though they, too, have faced discrimination and hate. I get it—Asians have the highest median income among all racial groups, so why prioritize a group that’s perceived as doing well?
But what if you’re a poor Asian from a broken family? In that case, you might just be out of luck.
Students Could Have Enjoyed Life More
During the pandemic, I had an epiphany: What’s the point of my kids studying so hard if their chances of getting into a top college—and landing a promising job afterward—are slim to none?
Instead of stressing over straight As, top SAT scores, varsity sports, club leadership, and curing cancer, why not let them fully enjoy their youth? All this intense stress to get into a top college doesn’t seem healthy.
The rise in depression and anxiety among high school students is alarming, with many feeling relentless pressure to excel. Some even take their own lives because they don’t feel good enough academically. We cannot let that happen. I refuse to let my daughter and son suffer under the weight of status and money at the expense of their well-being.
A Better, Happier Childhood When You Have No Chance
Imagine waking up excited to go to school—not for grades, but for the sake of learning. You’d focus on subjects you care about and do just enough to pass the ones you don’t like the quiet quitters today. Since the odds of getting into a top 25 university are so low, you’d be content with a B-average and a sub 1,200 SAT score. With lower expectations, you’d feel grateful for whatever college you do get into.
What a fantastic K-12 experience! I was all in on this idea—no Tiger Dad pressure, no pushing my kids to grind for a top-tier university just to become bankers working under fluorescent lights for 60 hours a week. I’ve been there, and it’s not fun, even if the money was good.
Instead, they could go to community college, save a fortune, and pursue careers they actually enjoy. And with the $700,000+ each that would have otherwise gone to private university tuition, I’d find a way to gift them financial security early.
Then things changed in 2025. Intense merit-based rewards came back into focus under the new administration.
The Analogy Of Lower Taxes Hurting Your Lifestyle
To help explain the negative of merit-based reward, let’s look at tax policy as an example.
When taxes are cut, people work harder because they get to keep more of their earnings. In theory, this is great—especially if the government has been wasting taxpayer dollars.
But the problem with working harder and longer is that money is addictive. Many people don’t know when to stop, even after they have enough. Fast-forward 40 years, and the rich banker or techie might wonder why they spent so much time chasing money when they could have been doing something more fulfilling.
I see this addiction to wealth every day through Financial Samurai. It’s extremely hard to quit making money, even if you hate your job. That’s why I started writing about FIRE in 2009—to give people the courage and financial framework to walk away from work they despise and do something they love.
Yes, making a lot of money and investing wisely is great. But if you keep sacrificing time for more money when you already have enough or are on track to die with plenty, it’s a damn shame.
I left work in 2012, partly because I didn’t want to pay ~40% of my income to the government for the privilege of working 60 hours a week and feeling constantly stressed. So in a way, I’m thankful for President Obama for raising my federal marginal income tax rate to 39.6% and giving me the incentive to break free. Paying another 12.3% tax to California plus another 7.2% in FICA tax was simply not worth it anymore.
Merit-Based Reward Can Also Hurt Your Lifestyle
On the surface, rewarding people based solely on merit sounds fair. But it could also be a trap for the most ambitious among us.
When people realize they can get ahead by outworking and outsmarting their peers, they’ll do just that. A 60-hour workweek turns into 70 hours. Then 80. Then 90. The arms race for more never ends until we make it stop.
Just like money addiction is hard to quit, merit-based competition is, too. When you know effort directly correlates with reward, it’s tough to hold back. If I was paid based on performance at my old job at Credit Suisse, I would have for sure lasted for at least another five years.
If I knew I could outpace AI from stealing my content just by writing more, I’d keep going indefinitely. But I recognize my window of opportunity may be closing fast. That’s why I’ve invested in the very companies working to make me obsolete. If they’re going to take away my retirement dream, at least I plan to profit in the process!
Rejected Asian American Goes Straight To A Dream Job
Take Stanley Zhong. He had a 3.97 unweighted GPA, a 4.42 weighted GPA, and a near-perfect 1590 SAT score at Gunn High School. He even founded his own document-signing startup and tutored underserved kids in coding.
Yet, he was rejected by 16 colleges, including MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Stanford, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, UCSB, UC Davis, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, Cornell University, University of Illinois, University of Michigan, Georgia Tech, Caltech, University of Washington and University of Wisconsin.
Good gracious! UC Davis has a 42% acceptance rate! Did Stanley write something offensive in all his essays? That would be hard to believe given he has such a thoughtful father and helpful school counselors.
When I first heard the news in 2023, I was stunned. Stanley could have been my son. And if he wasn’t good enough, what chance did my kids have? Less than 1% of students can achieve the academic scores Stanley achieved. For a moment, I felt defeated. Why bother trying? Top universities will simply use subjective reasons such as personality scores to explain why a student was rejected.
But then something remarkable happened.
Instead of going to college, Stanley landed a PhD-level engineering role at Google—a job most computer science grads from the very schools that rejected him would kill for. Making $200,000+ right out of high school is a dream come true.
Stanley proved his naysayers wrong.
Building Skills Becomes En Vogue Again
His story made me reconsider. Merit won out in the end—not in college admissions, but in the job market, the ultimate end goal. Businesses, unlike universities, need the best workers to create the best products and maximize profits.
If the most elite employers with the largest balance sheets like Google and Meta can no longer afford to ignore merit, the same will happen across smaller companies. Merit is even more important if you are an entrepreneur.
Then, in February 2025, Stanley and his father sued the University of California for racial discrimination. Despite the hate they received, they pressed forward for future Asian American students who might face the same bias.
If they win, it could mean more qualified Asian Americans will get into public universities that receive government funding. But ultimately, this shift should benefit the best students and workers of all races.
So, that crazy dream I had—of Asian American kids enjoying a low-stress, joyful childhood—might have to wait. For now, merit is back in focus, which means long hours of studying, intense competition in extracurriculars, and enormous pressure.
But the pendulum may swing again in time.
Treat Your Parents Well
Regardless of what happens, one truth remains: be good to your parents.
Colleges and employers may reject you, but your parents likely never will. They’ll do whatever it takes to give you opportunities and, ultimately, ensure that you’re happy.
And if they’ve been smart with their money—investing through a mostly bull market—they might have more wealth than you realize. When the time comes for college, a car, or even a house, they might just cover everything for you.
As a parent myself, I constantly battle the urge to give my kids everything. But I know that if I do, I risk making them entitled and soft.
Still, if my son and daughter grow into responsible, kind adults who choose careers that genuinely help others, it’ll be tough not to give them financial support when they need it.
When Your Best Is Not Good Enough: Keep On Going
So no matter your race, your best bet is to keep striving even if you have little-to-no chance of succeeding. Your pride is at stake. Even if you face rejection after rejection, remember—rejection is just the price of success.
Keep pushing. Keep grinding. Even when the odds are stacked against you, your hard work will eventually pay off in ways that are hard to forecast.
Readers, how do you feel about trying your best despite the long odds of success? Are you disappointed about the hyper focus on merit, or do you welcome the increased incentive to work hard? Why do you think students like Stanley Zhong, with near-perfect academic records, get rejected by so many top colleges? Does this prove the importance of writing good essays?
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