Why Rick Astley Waited for His Parents’ Death to Write His Memoir (Exclusive)

Rick Astley had been approached about penning a memoir for decades but always resisted — until now.

The singer was a 21-year-old playing local gigs in his small English hometown in 1987 when he released “Never Gonna Give You Up,” a classic ’80s pop earworm that quickly climbed the charts worldwide and skyrocketed the performer into superstardom, almost overnight.

Two decades later, thanks to one of the internet’s earliest viral moments — a prank where someone sends a link to the track’s music video disguised as something else, dubbed “Rickrolling” — the song was introduced to a new generation, reigniting the star’s popularity as the video hit over a billion and a half views on YouTube.

Now 58, Astley is telling all about his humble beginnings, the darker sides of instant fame and a nearly three-decade-long marriage to wife Lene Bausager in a new memoir, Never: The Autobiography, out Jan. 21.

In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE, Astley reveals that he was first approached about a book deal in his 20s — and then again when “Never Gonna Give You Up” garnered its viral moment in the 2000s. But he held off because of his parents. “I wanted to wait until my mom and dad weren’t alive anymore because I wanted to be completely honest about my childhood and didn’t want to upset them,” he says.

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In the memoir, Astley describes his difficult upbringing. He witnessed his father physically attacking his mother at a young age, and after his parents split when he was 4, he lost his emotional connection to them both.

“Whatever I went through with them, I don’t blame them,” the singer and author tells PEOPLE. “I don’t think it was their fault. It was just the way it was.”

The memoir charts the young singer’s earliest experiences with music — playing his first gig at a school disco, entering into local Battle of the Bands competitions and eventually getting plucked by budding producer Pete Waterman, who would help release “Never Gonna Give You Up.” But the story of his music career wouldn’t be complete without the details of his childhood, says Astley. “I just wanted to be really honest about the way that I was brought up because I think that’s what pushed me to want love and attention in different areas that I didn’t get as a kid.”

“It wasn’t just emotional and mental — it was a physical escape,” Astley says of his early relationship to music. “It was like, ‘If I can get a career in this, I can set my boundaries. I can set the rules. I can buy a house. I can go live somewhere that I want to live and not live under my dad’s roof.’ ”

Astley acknowledges the irony of “craving stability” out of fame — especially when the life of a rock star is often associated with drugs, sex and money. “I’m not saying I didn’t crave some of those things,” he adds. “But I was trying to fill a bit of a hole that I think had been left by my childhood.”

Now, a handful of awards and several platinum albums later, Astley is a parent himself — sharing 32-year-old daughter Amelia with his longtime wife. Not long after her birth, the singer temporarily stepped back from making music, which he says was “partly” to make more time for being a present parent.

“How do you become somebody who can be really, really famous and be a parent who is physically, mentally and emotionally there?” Astley wonders. “Fame is about being selfish and being a bit of an egomaniac at times, and it’s a hard thing to turn off when you go home.”

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He acknowledges that Amelia “never really knew” her grandfather and “wasn’t close to” her grandmother, given the strained relationships Astley had to his own parents. But he was very forthcoming with his daughter about the years he spent in therapy in his 20s and 30s processing his difficult upbringing. “I think it’s super valuable to talk about that,” he says. 

Still, the English rocker says his daughter has “struggled” with the release of his autobiography — especially some of the details of his life he had never gotten around to telling her, waiting for a “moment when that’s an appropriate conversation to have,” that are now available for the world to read.

“Parenting, man, that’s a big one,” he concludes. “You just have to do the best you can do.”

Never: The Autobiography is available now, wherever books are sold.