I realize that we are occasionally given to hyperbole about the untoward nature of politicians, but let me be clear: Matt Gaetz is a sex trafficking drug addicted piece of shit. He is abhorrent. His eyes are permanently rimmed with the red rings of chemical boosters. In person, he smells like overexposed Axe Body Spray and stale Astroglide. The fact that he boasted on the floor to multiple colleagues in the House of Representatives of his methods of crushing Viagra and high test Red Bull to maintain his erection through his orgiastic evenings is perhaps the least offensive of his many crimes against womanhood and Christian faith. The man has less principles than your average fentanyl addicted hobo. He likes them underage and he’s not ashamed about it. Matt Gaetz isn’t just your average extreme Florida MAGA Man, he’s a hypocritical ass with the worst Botox money can buy, pursuing an ever-thinner nose and higher cheekbones at every opportunity like a Real Housewife gone mad for fillers. Every Republican in Washington has an opinion about Matt Gaetz, and 99 percent of those opinions are “Keep Matt Gaetz away from my wife/daughter/friend and anyone I care about.” He is a walking genital, warts included as a bonus. If I was merely attempting to count the number of women I know who have had bad experiences with Matt Gaetz, I would run out of fingers and toes. If you vote for him to be the Attorney General of the United States, you don’t just need your head examined, you need to be committed to a mental institution. The man is absolutely vile. There are pools of vomit with more to offer the earth than this STD-riddled testament to the failure of fallen masculinity.
Let’s just deal with the facts. Did Matt Gaetz transport an underage woman across state lines with the stated intent of her having sex with him and his friends? Yes. Did he later claim to Tucker Carlson that this woman did not exist? Yes. Does this conflict with the fact that one of his closest friends was convicted of having sex with this underage woman for pay? Yes. Are Gaetz and his orgy friends attempting to destroy the records — images, videos, etc. — from this sex party to protect his political future? Yes. Does this matter to Republicans? Who can say? Donald J. Trump has the best judgment in politics, of course he would never name a sex trafficking drug addled lying philandering piece of shit to be the Attorney General of the United States simply to avoid investigation. Or would he?
Rep. Matt Gaetz’s (R-Fla.) resignation from Congress came two days before the House Ethics Committee was set to vote on releasing a “highly damaging” report outlining its investigation into the Republican, according to multiple sources familiar with the probe.
The committee planned to vote Friday on releasing the report. Ethics loses its jurisdiction over Gaetz when he leaves Congress.
The secretive panel has been investigating Gaetz on and off since 2021. President-elect Donald Trump announced that he would nominate Gaetz to be attorney general Wednesday.
Here’s the real deal: Matt Gaetz is the line for how we assess the Republican Party. If they are truly a cult of personality, beholden to Donald Trump in ways that we could not even imagine for a party that rejects cults and idol worship, they will approve this choice. But if they have a degree of independence, any kind of free thought, mindful of the fact that a presidency is four years but your career is forever, they will reject this choice so emphatically that it sends a very simple, straightforward message: you can be an absolute dirtbag wannabe pimp pounding dick pills and caffeine while you film your “girlfriend” twerking on the gram, or you can be a Republican. The choice is yours.
