It’s just been pointed out to me that my eyes have been wide open — like ‘what the hell just happened’ wide open — for some time.
The appearance of my eyes is of little concern to me right now, however. My current predicament involves trying to assemble the jumble of very recently-collected and wildly colourful emotions and memories bouncing around my head into some sort of coherent and easy-to-access order. I’m simultaneously euphoric and bewildered and it’s proving extremely difficult. Not helping matters are a number of quite famous faces from U.K. TV stood just few feet away, alongside a much-celebrated author (whose books I happen to love) and an England soccer star — none of whom I’m allowed to name in this piece. Thankfully, most of them are looking a little wide-eyed as well.
To explain this rather unusual situation, somewhat cryptically, I’ve just been a “passenger” on “You Me Bum Bum Train,” the ridiculously-named immersive theater experience for which the words “immersive theater experience” don’t nearly do it justice.
The show (is it a show? I guess it can be called a show…) is currently housed in a secret location in central London — a drab, grey 1970s office block that most of us would walk past without bothering to turn our heads. There’s a blue neon sign on the ground floor’s back wall that reads “You Me Bum Bum Train,” but it’s barely visible from the street. I honestly have no idea where I now am inside the building.
This is — quite possibly — all I’m allowed to say about “You Me Bum Train Train.”
With eyes still wide open and thoughts continuing to pinball, I’ve been chatting to co-creators Kate Bond and Morgan Lloyd (pictured above), who devised a loose concept for the experience while university friends in 2004 and have been developing and expanding it across a smattering of increasingly in-demand (not to mention award-winning) pop-ups in London over the last two decades. They’re giving me some truly golden anecdotes about the production, their interactions with the big names who have taken part and the impact it’s had on people, each one swiftly followed with “please don’t write about that.” Not ruining the mystique is absolutely critical.
To that end, I’ve already signed a non-disclosure agreement. I’ve promised not to utter a word (ok, I’m allowed to utter some words). I’m also very scared of the vast army of devoted Bum Bum fanatics who may well hunt me down if I spill the beans.
Invited to take part in “You Me Bum Bum Train” as a media guest, writing about something I can’t really write about is proving to be my trickiest assignment to date.
And yet, despite being shrouded in near-total secrecy, “You Me Bum Bum Train” has become the hottest ticket in London. So hot, in fact, that tickets simply aren’t available. At least not to mere mortals (ahem, outside the press). The current show — its first in almost 10 years — saw 120,000 people apply in a ballot on the first minute of release, more than Glastonbury Festival.
But an array of A-listers, whose ability to obtain otherwise unobtainable golden tickets remains unparalleled, have been through those unremarkable doors in recent weeks.
If local news articles (and whispers from within the industry) are to be believed, Leonardo DiCaprio, Madonna, Benedict Cumberbatch, Brie Larson, Andrew Garfield, James Norton, Naomi Campbell and many more have also been “passengers” on the latest “You Me Bum Bum Train,” alongside film execs, producers and, as mentioned before, a Who’s Who of U.K. TV stars. Prince Harry — with bodyguards — was spotted at a performance when it was last on in 2016, while Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Dominic West are also said to have attended. James Corden reportedly liked it so much he signed on to join its army of unpaid volunteers, a near cult-like troupe of giddy enthusiasts who do everything from work on the production, to man the reception and cloak room to appear within the experience itself. At its 2016 show, 13,242 volunteers — without whom the entire operation simply wouldn’t be able to exist — are said to have been involved.
It should be noted that while many of the volunteers are, as one puts it, “Bum Bum veterans,” people who were so taken by the experience in one of its previous iterations that they wanted to be part of it, a significant portion have never actually been on the “Train.” One tells me that he’s volunteering as an actor while still waiting to find out if he’s been successful in the ballot (he acknowledges that the odds are heavily stacked against him). Another explains that she rode “You Me Bum Bum Train” when it was on in 2011 and refused to tell her husband absolutely anything about what happened for almost 15 years until he was able to do it himself just a few weeks ago. “Otherwise it would have spoiled it for him!” she says.
So, how to describe “You Me Bum Bum Train” within the somewhat strict (and NDA’d) guidelines and not spoil it for anyone?
Essentially, it’s an immersive theater experience where you aren’t merely a bystander, but the lead star. Each passenger is individually guided through a carousel of riotously creative, intensely believable, forensically detailed and even occasionally topical scenes — most just a few minutes long — that don’t simply require your complete attention but wholehearted, full-throated participation, with the performers focused on you and what decision you choose to make in that moment.
A couple of the scenarios are quiet and meditative, but most put you in the hot seat in a highly intense, adrenaline-charged, think-on-your-feet situation very few of us will ever come close to finding ourselves in. Have you ever dreamed of throwing out some main character vibes? Now’s your chance. Or not. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. You can really be whoever you’d like to be and approach each one whichever way you want (within reason, of course) — the hundreds of actor volunteers there to react accordingly, and then swiftly usher you into the next insane setting.
It’s all exhilarating, surreal, liberating, beautiful, hilarious, mind-boggling, terrifying, ludicrous and thought-provoking. But it’s also genuinely self-revelatory. You may well find that, while on the “You Me Bum Bum Train,” you express yourself in ways you never thought you’d be able to. You may behave far outside the walls of the personality traits you believed you were restricted by. Maybe the you that you thought was you isn’t the actual you? Yes, it’s that profound. And I’m also a massive cynic at the best of times, so writing something like that doesn’t come easily.
The words “life-changing” crop up a lot among “You Me Bum Bum Train” folk and it’s not hard to see why. Indeed, before I went, I’d been told that some attendees had ended up completely changing careers and starting divorce proceedings. As a happily married man with a job I quite enjoy, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a hint of trepidation going in.
But no, I won’t be ditching the family or hanging up my Variety boots anytime soon (especially not when they can get me a highly sought-after “You Me Bum Bum Train” ticket). But being a passenger has definitely stirred something inside. Even days later, with eyes now open at a more acceptable size and state of befuddlement back to usual levels, I was still processing it all. “Oh shit, I did do that!” was the standard internal response as some moment I’d completely forgotten about emerged from the depths of my mind. “And I was, actually, pretty good at it!”
Mostly, I’m just extremely grateful that I’ve been able to experience this spectacular creation and not just jealously wonder from afar what on God’s green Earth people were banging on about. “If You Know You Know” has become the most popular line on social media among those who have been on board the train and, well, now I know. Sadly, only a small percentage of the initial 120,000 ballot hopefuls — and the many thousands who will have signed up since — will be lucky enough to say the same before the current show ends in London on May 2. Likely other more-fortunate-than-most Hollywood stars and U.K TV personalities will become passengers in that time (I spotted a paparazzi hoping to snap one outside when I left — the venue isn’t that hush-hush).
But for those across the Atlantic who are now intensely curious about “You Me Bum Bum Train” and not able to make it to London, there could still be an opportunity coming soon to have your minds blown. After several previous false starts (derailments?), I hear that locations are being scoured for the world’s wildest and most secretive immersive theater experience to finally make its U.S. debut.
