Everyone has a favourite toast spread – be it butter, jam or Marmite; but what if you could slather your bread in coffee?
While some of us may be more accustomed to getting our cup of Joe in a mug alongside the rest of our meal, a Swiss company has now made it possible for you to coat the food of your choice in a caffeinated paste.
No Normal Coffee promises a product you can ‘eat or drink’, which is ‘crafted from 100 per cent Fairtrade Arabica beans and sweetened with organic Swiss beet sugar’.
One 100g tube of the glossy, jet black substance – which will set you back £14 – gives you 20 cups which are said to offer ‘rich, indulgent flavor with hints of chocolate, nuts and caramel’.
It’s designed for endeavours like camping, where a portable and easy to use offering surely comes in handy – but I wanted to see if it could be a helpful kitchen item to have on hand.
Myself and MailOnline’s Head of TV Jack Pusey decided to delve into the novelty condiment and sample it.
While I enjoy my brew strong, black and bitter, he is fond of milky sugary lattes – and it showed.
Wanting to take the experiment farther than just bread, we also wanted to see how it measured up to your average instant coffee and – at the founders’ recommendation – also whacked some on a banana.
No Normal Coffee promises a product you can ‘eat or drink’, which is ‘crafted from 100 per cent Fairtrade Arabica beans and sweetened with organic Swiss beet sugar’. Pictured, Elmira Tanatarova
One 100g tube of the glossy, jet black substance – which will set you back £14 – gives you 20 cups which are said to offer ‘rich, indulgent flavor with hints of chocolate, nuts and caramel’. Pictured, Jack Pusey
It’s designed for endeavours like camping, where a portable and easy to use offering surely comes in handy – but we wanted to see if it could be a helpful kitchen item to have on hand
Straight from the get-go, you are reminded of tomato paste with the packaging and initial ooze of jet black that emerges when you unscrew the cap.
But this quickly changes when you start working with the product. When I applied some paste to my slice of toast, I was surprised by how quickly and easily it glides on.
The texture was more akin to oil paint than a scratchy ‘paste’ – and I was left with a silky sheen reminiscent of Marmite.
I was worried about two things – which are always my concern with instant coffee – before I tucked in.
First, I thought it may be too sour, as is often the case when you get it in this format.
This is due to the chlorogenic acid in coffee, which is extracted more readily during the instant manufacturing process.
Wanting to take the experiment farther than just bread, we also wanted to see how it measured up to your average instant coffee and – at the founders’ recommendation – also whacked some on a banana
Finally, it was time to strip back the pageantry and take a look at the basics – as Elmira and Jack sampled the coffee in its best known liquid form
Second, I feared the sugar addition would clash too much with the bitterness of the coffee and sit on the tongue heavily – the reason for which I like to take my cup without any dairy or sweetening additions.
However, when I bit into the toast, I found that I absolutely loved it. Bizarrely, the spread tasted smooth and slightly nutty – perfectly roasted.
Jack – a self-proclaimed ‘latte guy through and through’ fared slightly differently.
While he found it ‘really easy to spread’, the flavour didn’t land well at all with him.
‘This is not for me,’ he winced. ‘It makes the bread taste burnt.’
When it came to the banana taste test for me, I felt out of my depth. It’s simply not a combination that made sense to me, with the saccharine fruit clashing bizarrely with the paste.
It was absolutely far from repulsive – but I’m not entirely sure it made sense to me emotionally. I felt like Icarus flying too close to the sun, trying to optimise the entire breakfast experience into one small bit. My mortal flesh warned me against going further.
In true Marmite ‘love it or hate it’ fashion, Jack in contrast much more enjoyed it.
Jack, simply ‘didn’t like it’. ‘I don’t know who’s asking for this,’ he said. ‘There is no point buying this to put it in water’
‘I think that’s better,’ he revealed. ‘Ok I could probably endure that… but I would rather just have the banana.’
Finally, it was time to strip back the pageantry and take a look at the basics – as Jack and I sampled the coffee in its best known liquid form.
Just five grams dissolved in water allows for the perfect brew – and I was instantly delighted.
None of the tart pungency I’m used to with instant coffee came through, instead proving for a fuss-free, smooth beverage I couldn’t stop taking sips out of.
I felt no need for more frills, entirely satisfied with the java.
However, Jack, simply ‘didn’t like it’.
‘I don’t know who’s asking for this,’ he said.
‘There is no point buying this to put it in water.
‘It’s no more travel friendly or convenient than having coffee granules.’
Ultimately, this likely will warm to anyone who enjoys a strong black coffee – but not the average oat flat white buyer.
Its only downfall for me is the lack of feasibility for those of us in the UK. While it’s possible to order from the Swiss brand online, it’s not something you could easily get on your ASDA shop.
The £14 price tag may not seem that intense if you were able to whack it off the shelf and store it for a year (it has a 12 month shelf life) for when you’re in the mood (racking up to just 70p per cup) – but the effort of ordering it and getting it shipped may be worth more fuss than is necessary for a good normal cuppa.
And if the wincingly tangy taste of instant coffee doesn’t make you flinch like it does me, there are many more economic options on offer.
Tesco finest sells a 100g glass jar for just £2.95 – 20 cups out of that would cost just 15p each.
Despite that, it’s still the perfect supply to have on hand if you’re a hiker (no refrigeration is needed and waste is definitely reduced) – so if you’re planning a stroll around the Seven Sisters as the weather thaws, keep it in your thoughts.
