When you’ve been out of the musical circuit for a while, dusting off the vocal cords is usually in order. However, Jessica Simpson is taking it to the next level and has been downing snake sperm in order to get back to her former self.
It’s been a minute since Jessica Simpson sang her jams. Since then, she has had a divorce, a little drink or two, and a child. But now it’s time to strut her stuff again, to the delight of her patient fans.
Since her retirement from the public eye, Jessica Simpson has been busy. She started her own fashion label, despite her famed ‘Mum Jeans’ feux pas. She’s been making her money that way, perfecting her style for ten years. But now she’s ready to sing again.
But, to get her voice back to the level she needs, she’s been taking Chinese herbal medicines. When asked what she’s been taking, she admitted that, initially, she didn’t know. “They’re like, ‘What are you drinking?'” Simpson said in an Instagram video. “It’s, like, this Chinese herb thing, and I’m, like, ‘I don’t know. My vocal coach told me to drink it.”
Always Read The Label
Jessica Simpson took a look at the strange, mystical concoction she had been drinking and discovered snake sperm as one of the ingredients. “And they Googled the ingredients and snake sperm… It’s, like, a honey.. So, if you wanna good vocal, you gotta drink snake sperm,” she revealed.
I mean, if it’s like honey, and honey does the same thing, then maybe, just maybe, you should just eat honey? I’m no Chinese medicine man, but surely that’s better than snake sperm. Maybe even just try a cough drop and warm whiskey.
But it’s pretty on brand for the Jessica Simpson we’ve all been missing. She’s always been a bit of an oddball, and the industry needs a few cooky characters. If this is just a sign of things to come, then I am all for it. However, you won’t catch me drinking that next time I get a sore throat. I think I’ll leave snake sperm to Jessica Simpson.
