Let’s talk about Armored Fresh Parmesan—because apparently, regular dairy-free cheese wasn’t ambitious enough. No, they had to go and reinvent Parmesan, the king of pasta toppings, but without the dairy, cholesterol, or guilt—a bold move.
The Parmesan (That Isn’t Parmesan)
First, let’s acknowledge the challenge here. Parmesan is one of those cheeses that has a very specific personality—nutty, sharp, slightly fruity, and just pretentious enough to make you feel fancy when you sprinkle it on pasta. It’s also one of the hardest cheeses to fake because it’s aged, complex, and naturally full of umami.
Armored Fresh, however, claims they’ve cracked the code with an oat-based version. Yes, oats are the breakfast staple now moonlighting as an Italian essential.
Does It Taste Like the Real Thing?
Surprisingly… kinda? The nutty, mildly sharp, and bold flavors are there. It’s not a perfect clone of the aged dairy version, but it does mimic the umami hit that makes Parmesan addictive. Sprinkle it on pasta, salad, or anything that needs a little flavor boost, and it does the job.
It also grates well, which is a small but significant victory. Nothing kills the mood faster than trying to grate a plant-based cheese that just crumbles into sad little chunks. This one actually functions like a real Parmesan.
And Then… There’s Kimchi Parmesan
Because why stop at one plant-based Parmesan when you could take things off the rails? Enter Kimchi Parmesan—the spicy, slightly chaotic cousin nobody saw coming. It’s nutty, sharp, bold, and apparently “very hot”, which sounds like an identity crisis in a cheese shaker.
Would I put it on pasta? Maybe. Would I put it on tacos? Probably. Is this the thing that makes people question all their life choices? Absolutely. But hey, sometimes food innovation is about taking risks—and if anyone was going to turn fermented cabbage into a cheese experience, it was Armored Fresh.
Final Thoughts: Should You Try It?
Whether you are dairy-free or just Parmesan-curious, Armored Fresh’s oat-based Parmesan is a solid alternative. It won’t make you forget real Parmesan exists, but it will give you a surprisingly decent, umami-packed substitute that works.
As for the Kimchi Parmesan? That’s an adventure all on its own. But hey, what’s life without a bit of spice?
